About the author
Paul Weaver felt like a fit and healthy 68 year old, but was knocked sideways when he received a bladder cancer diagnosis in July 2023. In this blog, Paul describes how he came through the worst, and took up his beloved sports again.
The day it all started
Monday 31 July 2023 was the day it all started. From the moment I first noticed blood in my urine, I knew I had a problem. Twenty minutes later, I was on the phone to 111 and being fast-tracked to my GP surgery for an appointment that afternoon.
That September found me in Frimley Park Hospital for the removal of a cancerous tumour from my bladder. The cancer diagnosis had been a shock, even though I’d already guessed the worst. I was 68 and felt fit and healthy.
I was put on a course of BCG treatments, nine in all. But this route had mixed results, and I needed two further surgeries to remove more of the blighters. After discussions with my consultant, we agreed this was not the way forward after all. Then, following much deliberation, we decided to skip the next step – ‘hot’ chemo, I believe – and go straight for the weight-loss option. In other words, surgery to remove my bladder, prostate and two lymph glands. All in one neat and tidy go, three weeks before Christmas 2024.
Two for one
“Hang on! Prostate? Where did that suddenly come from?”, I said. Yep, due to the ‘inter-connectability’ (my definition), it would be safe to assume there might be a problem, now or in the future, here too. Later, my stoma nurse said, “Oh yes, we had a special offer on that week: buy one procedure, get one free!”
Made me laugh.
In fact, when the biopsies came back from the lab, it turned out that my prostate had two small, previously undetected tumours lurking there anyway. Hooray for Frimley Park Hospital!
Away with the boys
Fast forward to 23 March 2025 – three and a half months after my six-day hospital stay (courtesy of the brilliant Royal Surrey Hospital) and feeling a bit lighter, I decided to go ahead with my boys’ snowboarding trip to the Andorran Pyrenees. Audrey (I decided very early on that it was never going to be ‘just a bag’) still wakes me up in the night asking, “Andorra? Flying so soon after major surgery? What on earth were you thinking, Weaver?”
You may well ask!
I felt I had to do it just to prove that the urostomy had come into my life and not the other way around. I needn’t have feared though – despite the one-hour car journey to Gatwick, the two-hour flight to Toulouse and the three-hour bus transfer (my biggest fear, it has to be said), all went swimmingly – even the x-ray and being frisked by airport security. Throughout the entire holiday I only had three leaks – the trickiest one in a restaurant on top of a mountain. Rather inconvenient, I thought!
Martial arts and cycling
Back at home, and being an avid martial artist, I was keen to return to training. Starting in February, and taking it very slowly, I went once a week with the strict proviso that I was not to get involved in any form of combat – just yet.
The kind people at Suportx supplied me with an everyday corset, along with a sports corset which came with a sturdy guard to protect Audrey and her ‘baggage!’. I am slowly getting used to the sports one, though the guard can be a little obstructive.
It is now late spring, and this 70-year-old is back to training twice a week. I’m hoping to attend the Summer Course in Weston-Super-Mare, in July. This is a gruelling five days with four hours’ training each day. It culminates in black belt dan gradings which you are encouraged to attend – if you survive the course and if your instructor thinks you’re ready, that is.
As a keen cyclist, I was used to riding my bike to and from work – around eight miles each way – three or four times a week. Unfortunately, this is one area that I am still struggling with. Despite having a gel saddle, and padded shorts along with three pairs of undies, I still find it extremely uncomfortable! Not to be put off, I’ll start going out and will take it slowly, gradually building up the miles over the summer. Fingers crossed!
Dealing with leaks
To misquote Benjamin Franklin in his letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy in 1789, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes… and leaks”. Of course, I’m speaking from my own experience here, but it’s rare for someone with a urostomy to never encounter leakage.
If it happens to you, please do not beat yourself up, get frustrated and think it’s all your fault. My advice is to change your bag at the first opportunity. Then simply carry on with what you were doing. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?
The wonder of the night bag
A major upside – you’ll be delighted to hear – is the night bag. What a magnificent invention it is. No more getting up in the night, broken sleep or upsetting your partner at 3am. Brilliant! In fact, I often think night bags should be standard issue for all ‘older’ gents, with some sort of adapter, even if they still have their normal bits present.
A few top tips
M&S now sell stoma pants for women – but not for men. This is a travesty, in my book.
Anyway, sold in packs of three for around £20, they are a lifesaver. You will have noticed that as your own Audrey fills up, the weight of the contents can be a problem. So, I bought a pair and found that if you cut out the gusset (to fit us blokes), it becomes more like a corset with an inside pocket. Perfect to support your stoma.
My second trick involves empty soft drink bottles. Take a plastic bottle, remove the lid, but keep it safe, and then insert the tube that you’ve cut off from an old night bag into the top. Simply keep this setup in your rucksack/bag to plumb into your Audrey when travelling on planes, buses, in fact anywhere. I have used it in the cinema, at the rugby, and on planes and buses too. It’s very discreet. And I can highly recommend the 100% confidence it gives you on all occasions, including at christenings, weddings and bar mitzvahs…
One small alteration is to take a second bottle top that fits your bottle and drill a small hole in it the size of the night bag tube so that it’s a nice, tight fit. This will give you even more confidence, to take on the actual world.